Things I’ve Learned as a Mom


  • Pink oatmeal tastes better than blue oatmeal every day but Thursday. On Thursday, oatmeal must be orange.
  • Go Fish should be an Olympic sport.
  • Transformer Band-aid are the only kind of Band-aid that makes boo-boo’s better… unless it’s Bob the Builder Band-aids, or unless they happen to be neon green.
  • Playing on Leapster Explorers should count as schoolwork.
  • The Princess and the Frog never gets old.
  • One can always recognize a bayou when they actually see one because Tiana was a frog in one, NOT because of your carefully laid out and perfectly executed lesson plans on habitats.
  • Never give a child an ‘impossible’ chore to keep them from doing something you don’t want them to do: that chore will become their new favorite thing, not only to do, but to barter with and you will get stuck letting them do what you didn’t want them to do in the first place.
  • Never tell a child you can’t do something for them because you haven’t had your coffee this morning: they will promptly answer you the next time you need them to do something early in the morning with “I can’t. I haven’t had my orange juice yet.”
  • Never pull rank for the television when Tom and Jerry is on: Your child will promptly explain that the television has picture-in-picture (yeah, but who can work the darn thing?!?) and proceed to use it… with your program in the little box. (Oh right- the kids can!)
  • Sketchers are the ONLY brand of shoes. There are no other shoes in the entire world. Seriouslylisten carefully now… if they don’t say Sketchers on the side they are absolutely not shoes and you are wasting your money.
  • Putting a bow in your hair constitutes getting dressed in the morning, even if you’re running around in your underwear.
  • If you have children, your bedtime is their bedtime. Do not, under any circumstances, try to stay up and get things accomplished after they’re asleep. They will wake up promptly after 9 hours of sleep, even if you’ve only had 4 and it’s 6am in the morning. You will live to regret it for days.
  • Never tell the children “We’ll go outside later”- two minutes constitutes ‘later’ for a child and they will make you insane until your ‘later’ get here.


Hop on over to MamaKat’s Losin It where the inspiration for this post came from!


About beyondmartha

Wife to one, mommy to many, daughter, sister, friend, homemaker, daughter to the King. That's me.

Posted on March 28, 2012, in Motherhood. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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